Confusion|Resolution?

Dear Reader,

I hope I am finally beginning to reassemble myself after so many weeks of feeling in pieces. I decided to stop attending rehearsals of my chorus for a couple of weeks, and dovetailing that on to a 2 week scheduled hiatus, to give myself 4 weeks of neutrality. I miss my chorus friends, the singing, and the general activity terribly, but I felt a huge weight lifted off of me when I left our rehearsal room the other night, after dropping off "snack" materials, "ticketing" materials, and other items to make sure my responsibilities were covered while I was out.

Unfortunately, despite this step forward, I have not been able to resolve my desire to communicate with the gentleman in question. I was saddened to see that he has chosen to take his blog off-line; I don't know why this decision was taken, but I did leave comments letting him know that I was disappointed at this step and that I hope he gets the blog back up soon. I doubt I will ever know if he has or has not; he didn't bother to respond to or even acknowledge my comments.

For those not familiar with the blog world, or at least the world of "Blogger," when one sets up a blog, one can allow the blog to accept comments from readers in a few different ways. Except for the delimitations of "No Comments," or "Comments by "Team" Members Only," comments made will usually initiate an email to the address of the blogger's choice, letting him know that someone has actually read the blog (!), and taken the time to say something (!!). Occasionally these comments will be spam-like, but that does not seem to be typical.

In any case, on not receiving any response or even acknowledgement, I also sent him a short, slightly admonishing message, letting him know that he should at least acknowledge comments, even if he does not respond to them. Again, I doubt I will get a reply of any kind.

In some ways, this is confusing to me. He hurt me, not vice versa. So, I don't understand why he has decided that my communications are not worth a response, even a "Got your message; no comment." To me, this is just small, mean behavior. I don't know how else to think of it. I have tried to be nothing but nice; my comments on his blog have been all positive, or at least I thought they were, even when I was disagreeing a little; I have never said "Do Not Respond," or something equivalent; I just don't get the poor manners.

I had said "FIN" below, and thought I was indeed fin. Well, apparently I wasn't quite. But, this past rehearsal night off has gotten me closer to finally being "fin," and having said what I wanted to, I think I may be, finally! At least, I hope so. So, perhaps I am reaching resolution, having resolved to do so; I hope I can leave my confusion behind in the next few weeks, and start the New Year with a positive outlook, or at least not a negative one. We'll see, I suppose.

More to come,
Catbird