Crud.

Dear Reader,

Crud, again.

Saturday in the Park, as previously reported, was a lovely, nice day. But then we had a Sunday that rained all day, and then back to the real world on Monday.

I suppose Monday could have been worse. I made a breakthrough (I think) with a client, and had a decent time at a Riverside Park Fund meeting. But my internal milieu is so difficult, I’m left with a big sad place, which I just hate to feel.

I’ve had so much loss and death in the last two months. Loss of what I thought was affection, which apparently was never there in the first place; death of my eleven-year-old companion cat; death of a therapy partner dog; loss of my own ability to reach out; loss of most feelings of self-worth. How can I reconstruct this? How do I pull myself together again?

Where do I go from here? I feel that I’ve got no one. I don’t even know how to go out to a movie. I don’t want to be this isolated or curmudgeonly; apparently, I just am. Honestly, I don’t know where or how to begin. I’m swinging in the wind here, and have no clue as to what to do next. Any sensible advice would be appreciated.

Thanks and best,
Catbird